So I’ve just set up my blog and now what? I’ve got no real grasp on what my intentions are and, to be even more limp, it is now dawning on me like some merciless cold light that I have somehow succeeded in failing to develop any actual opinions of my own over the course of my life. Instead I’ve read what other people think, reviewed their books, interviewed them about their books, listened to them and other actually awake people engaging in debate while I’ve sat back politely and then possibly, at a later date when I was taken by a particularly bold mood, regurgitated some of their points. I’m going to be a rubbish blogger. Or maybe I’m going to try and be an honest one. A sincere rubbish blogger. Yes, I can do that. Maybe I’ll start there. With a blog post about not having anything to blog about…how original. How exciting.
It’s because I’m over-sensitive. Always was. Can’t take criticism, you see. So you keep quiet and avoid confrontation and then suddenly, years later, discover that you’ve turned yourself into a bland opinionless cypher with a broad vocabulary and nothing to actually say. So blogging confronts me with a peculiarly existential personal challenge. My virtual Waterloo. I probably just need to get into the groove with it, that’s all. No, this blogging thing is going to be good for me, I can sense that now. Is that a slight tingle of resolve I can feel down the far end of one of my extremities? That’s it! I’m going to blog myself bolder. Blog myself into an opinion. Dredge myself in search of a bit of personality. Maybe I do have lots of stuff to say and just don’t realize it. It’s not that I don’t have any views…I’ve simply misplaced them. There is a ton of stuff I’m passionate about. Like books, yes, like brilliant, beautifully written books and how great authors are the most important people on the planet because they are the ones who carve out the pathways to new possibilities of meaning. They are the lantern-bearers of not just ideas but the cultural, social and political change that those ideas rest upon.
Actually, you know, I could sort of get into this.
Any advice on blogging would be more than welcome, by the way.